A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.George Savile
Patience is indeed a virtue.
This quality is not only a trait—it is also a way of being.
It involves going through challenging times, facing different people or unpleasant situations without getting upset or angry.
Also – trusting that things will happen at the perfect time.
It plays a role in how you respond to anything life brings.
If you are patient enough, nothing will seem unpleasant to you.
Even in demanding times, you can endure anything and see it as life and an opportunity to learn.
Patience depends on personality, your personal history and the situation.
But patience as well is a skill that you can train.
In this article, you will what exactly is patience and what are the benefits of it. You will learn the symptoms of impatience and how to identify it. Further, you will learn some practice that will help you develop your patience to the next level.
So What is patience?
I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.Lao Tzu
Patience is the ability to stay calm in any circumstance for any amount of time.
Like I mentioned before, it is like a muscle you can improve.
Psychologist Sarah Schnitker states that patience comes in three main varieties
1. Interpersonal patience – understanding towards other people.
This type of impatience can come from other peoples:
- Situations that arise
In this case, we have to understand that every person is different.
Some are slower learners in one thing, but faster in others.
Maybe being late was an honest mistake?
If the other person demands you something, just know – it is nothing personal. Stay calm, hold your ground if you believe you are right, and you will always win.
2. Life hardship patience
A good word to describe it is perseverance. This usually includes long term patience.
- Creating business
- Overcoming a health issue
- Reaching a goal
- Saving money
This may require a lot of determination and focus on overcoming. But it is important to move forward and not to get overwhelmed.
You have overcome most of your life hardships so far. You will overcome the rest toob
3. Daily hassles patience
These are daily circumstances usually beyond our control.
It can be anything like:
- Being stuck in traffic
- Slow internet
- Something didn’t work out
The trick is simple – understand that this is not in our control, and by getting impatient.
Accept it as a test to grow your patience.
And if it is our fault, take it as an opportunity to learn.
Male and female patience
It is worth mentioning that females chiefly have more patience than men.
It is because of their divine energy.
The divine feminine has the natural ability to preserve, nurture and natural passiveness to her. You can notice many women like to raise children or even have their flower garden.
While divine masculine has the quality of wanting to bring things to an end – to a single point, also, they are adventurous and action takers.
You can see most men are logical and want to conclude things in conversations, building something, or even sex.
Now, one is no better than the other in any way.
We have to learn from both to reach full completion.
The Benefits of patience
Strong patience will truly enhance your internal and external worlds.
In general, patience can make our lives much more comfortable.
It will make everything look more manageable and acceptable.
It is imperative in everyday life and in the long term.
Some benefits are:
- Better decision making
- Reduced stress
- Better relationships
- Helps you succeed
- Build spiritual discipline
- Think more positively
- It helps focus on your goals
- It helps you enjoy the present moment
While on the other hand, impatience can:
- Destroy relationships
- Make you perform mistakes
- Create health problems
- Make you jump from one thing to another before seeing results
- Create mood swings and negative emotions
So no matter how you see it – patience is essential in life.
How to train your patience?
There are many ways to train your patience.
The simple rule is the more you are patient, the stronger it becomes.
Some general practices help us with this skill. You will get familiar with them below.
Another effective way to develop patience is to notice what makes you impatient.
Many people, including me, don’t even recognize when they become impatient.
But this undesirable trait has some common symptoms and causes.
When you start noticing them, you take a big step forward.
A few days ago, my father pointed me out that I am always rushing somewhere, walking fast, back and forth. In this rushing, I forget the smalls things with me. That was a great pointer to me that I am indeed not always patient. But just becoming aware of it let me get notable improvements in a short time.
Notice the symptoms of impatience
Impatience has some common and noticeable signs.
Physical symptoms of impatience can be:
- Shallow, fast breathing
- Tension in the body
- Jiggling of leg
- Continually looking for distraction (taking the phone out ten times)
Emotional symptoms include:
- Changes in your mood
- Changes in your thoughts
- You may become angry, irritated, anxious or nervous
- Constant rushing
When you know how your body may react when you become impatient, you can start noticing where it comes from in the first place.
Causes of impatience
Awareness is the key here.
When you notice some of the symptoms mentioned above, feel if you actually become impatient.
Journaling works very effectively here. Write things that make you impatient.
Asking for help from other peoples help is useful too.
Soon you will notice your “triggers” for impatience quickly.
These usually are certain:
- Type of activity/ work
- Physical factors: hunger, headaches, fatigue
When you know your triggers, you can consciously become more patient in the situation, training your patience.
Or you can avoid the situation in the first place.
Where does your impatience come from?
It is important to notice does your impatience comes from the inside or the outside of you?
Both are manageable conditions, but the awareness of where it comes from gives us power.
Let’s put this in examples:
Impatience coming from the inside:
Rushing to finish something or frustrated with self.
This might end up in making mistakes or not doing quality work.
Always try to relax and focus. Especially if it a long-term goal. If it is a task that you are late on, try to find a solution. I bet those involved in the timeline are more interested in quality than getting the job done. (sometimes it is not the case, but we can take responsibility, learn from our mistake and plan better next time)
When someone else is involved.
When you try to rush others, you simply create more stress, again leading to unnecessary stress and tension.
Understand the under person, or even offer some help.
When someone is disturbing you.
This can lead to an unreasonable dispute where you don’t hear each other ad get angry with each other.
Try to understand the other person and listen to him. There is always a middle ground. (of course, this doesn’t apply if the other person is overstepping his boundaries, in that case, just walk away or stay strong)
Let’s say you are impatient that a bus doesn’t arrive on time.
Remember that you have no control over the situation and that your impatience build more impatience and stress. There is probably a reasonable cause for that.
Use this time for something useful, breathing exercise, read a book, stretch your body.
Also, notice who or what programmed impatience in you.
It is very common in childhood.
If you were the child who always cried to get things and got them, you might have little patience to start with.
But if your parents were strict but encouraging and might have built it up.
Get rid of the impatience
Once you notice your cause of impatience, you can take power from it.
Merely acknowledging it will make a huge difference.
But please, do not stop here.
Every time you find yourself in such a situation,
Take a deep breath and relax
This works like a magic spell in every circumstance.
Then take a different approach.
It will help you reprogram your brain to see things differently.
Trust me. It will significantly improve your life.
Below are some practices to develop your patience to another level.
1. Surrender to your flow
Nothing is more patient than nature. It surrenders to the natural flow of life and follows the natural cycles.
And the results are: trees grow to impressive heights, flowers to incredible beauties, streams become to rivers, diamonds form from coal.
We have a lot to learn from nature. And the natural flow is one of them.
Every human being has his pace of living.
Some of them are faster, some slower. Finding it can be an incredible gift.
Of course, in our modern world, it is easier said than done.
But that should not discourage us. We can still find our rhythm, especially in the time off.
This alone will improve our patience by a lot. We will start to notice the improvement in our everyday life as well.
My best friend is the perfect example of this. He had a slower pace of life always. (can’t believe I used to judge him for this long time ago… Sorry for that. Now I adore him). Of course, in modern life, he lost most of his natural pace. But one week, he naturally found it again. And he explained that in his slower pace of life, he had actually done much more. It was like the universe was working for him – green lights turn exactly when needed, brilliant ideas come on the right time, he felt well-rested all the time. He was happy and patient.
He is an excellent example for me to trust my natural flow.
2. Celebrate small achievements
This one is very helpful for many people around me.
We often focus on where we need to go, so we forget how far we have come.
Celebrate all the small achievements in your life. This will not only develop your patience but also make you generally more happy and motivated.
The steps celebrated can be anything:
- Another ten dollars in your savings account
- Another conversation you made with the client
- The thing that you understood about yourself
- Or even the time you didn’t lose your patience when you previously would have
You should even celebrate the mistakes. Because, when reflected on correctly – every mistake brings you closer to victory.
I will share an excellent practice with you that works if you have a big task at hand.
- Write down the goal that you want to achieve.
- Then, reverse engineer it into major steps in order to achieve it.
- Then split those big tasks into smaller tasks, from first to last.
- You can take a step forward and even split those to smaller groups.
- Make a plan with everything you need to do, on paper or a whiteboard.
- Complete the smalls tasks. (You do not always have to follow the order)
- Cross things out and celebrate the small achievements. This will show you your progress and keep you motivated and patient.
Let’s put it into an example.
Say I am writing a book. The plan would look something like this:
Use it for any major tasks. You can almost use it for anything, even self-realization.
3. Focus on the present, not the result
It is not about the destination. It is about the journey.Ralph Waldo Emerson
This quote is one of my favourites.
Sometimes when you try to rush somewhere, you miss the actual magic of getting there.
This especially applies to long-term goals.
Wanting to finish things fast can make you very impatient.
Plus, when you reach them too fast, you might not be happy with the results.
Or goals that you reach fast will not give you enough pleasure and lead to more aims.
But when you learn to enjoy the actual process, you will never get bored.
Try to see the magic in all things, even in the small ones.
Especially in the small ones, which are usually a bit annoying to us.
Remember – without taking the small steps. You cannot achieve the goal.
So stay present and enjoy the process.
It is a task I am learning every day while creating my business. It was a hard one for me, as I could not see the results fast. But perseverance is the key to business. And as I am learning more and more, even the results seem to come more naturally.
This leads us to the next practices.
4. Trust and faith two firend of patience
Have trust and faith in the perfect timing.
Sometimes even if you believe that you deserve or are ready for something, it is not the time yet.
Maybe you have not learned the lesson yet.
Perhaps you do not know the skills yet.
Or maybe the universe is waiting for you to have even a better reward.
I am going to tell a story about my friend again. One time he missed the train going home. Naturally, he was upset. But then he the next train he met amazing people that he became friends with.
It can be anything. Maybe the flat tire saved you from an accident down the road?
When you start to see everything like that, you become grateful for everything.
And you definitely become patient.
You see the beauty in the divine plan.
And if you really desire something, isn’t it something worth waiting for patiently?
Let me tell you a secret.
You already won.
4. Use your extra time productively
You can use the extra time while waiting for something for many things.
This way, you will always be moving forward, growing and improving, or catching up with someone.
Let’s say you are waiting for something. You can always:
- Do quick meditation or breathing
- Read a book
- Do kegel exercises
- Solve a problem in your mind
- Simply relax and rewind
- Spend some calling someone special
The opportunities are countless.
With the long term goals, let’s say you are slowly saving for a house.
Instead of being impatient that you don’t earn enough, maybe try to study how to create additional income.
The same goes for any other long-term goal. There are so many skills to learn and improve yourself.
Suppose the situation has another person involved. You can simply use this time to learn, that’s right, more patience.
5. Find time to relax and rest
Sometimes impatience can be directly linked to our physical state.
I know I am much more impatient when I am tired and exhausted.
Even in the tiredness state itself – subconsciously or not, you want to finish faster so you can rest. It brings us impatience.
It is much better to approach any situation from a well-rested state.
But the paradox is some people find it hard to relax and rest. In this, some people can even become impatient.
They just want to come back to work and do what has to be done. Only then they can relax completely.
It is nothing wrong if you cannot change it. Again – patience is a skill to be trained.
Just make sure you relax release all the stress after you finish your task.
Rest is essential to all of us.
Meditation is the best and the most effective way to learn patience, in my opinion.
But ironically enough, we can become very impatient even in meditation.
It happens, especially at the beginner levels.
When we are not used to meditating, something might bother us, and you might feel like getting out of meditation as soon as possible.
It might be anxiety, discomfort in the body, negative emotions going in, too many thoughts.
But overcoming all this can teach patience like nothing else.
Advancing in meditation, even your brain waves slow down to Beta or theta, so you react more calmly to everything.
Patience is indeed a virtue. It can make our life so much beautiful and calm.
Usually, there is nothing to do about the things we are impatient. So if we cannot change it, why bother ourselves.
But most of us do not even notice when we are impatient.
Awareness is the key here.
First, try to notice physical and emotional symptoms of being impatient.
Then find the root of what makes you impatient.
When you find it, you can simply take its power away, change your attitude towards it, or even avoid the situation in the first place.
Further, you can follow one of these practices to develop your patience naturally in any area of life.
- Go with your natural flow
- Focus on the present, not the results
- Trust and have faith in what life brings you
- Find time to relax and rest
- Celebrate small achievements
- Use the extra time doing something beneficial
How patient are you?