Non-judgment is the next level of being
What is Love? Love is the absence of judgment.Dalai Lama
When you go to the forest, you see many trees.
Do you label them?
Is one tree more straight than the other?
Does one tree give better shade than the other?
Most of us never think about that. We see the forest as a natural and beautiful creation.
It is the purest form of non-judgment.
But why don’t we see everything as a beautiful creation?
Why do we judge others, or things, or experiences, or self?
And people are especially easy to judge.
If we see a person doing something unhealthy proved by science for themselves – we are the first ones to judge them.
But haven’t we, many times did something unhealthy for ourselves too?
What was our excuse then?
Would we like to be judged then?
We do not know what the other person has been through, what is his life story.
In this article, I dive deep, what judgment is. What is the judgment of ‘Good’ and ‘Bad.’ As well, why we should not judge anyone, and what benefits will it bring us? Lastly, I share some valuable practices that help us train non-judgment.
I write this article because often we judge everything. It is nothing wrong with it- it is our natural response. But once we understand what judgement actually is, we can take the full power from it. It will lead us to freedom of the mind and spirit, and eventually to complete self-mastery.
What is non-judgment?
Being non-judgment is being with reality as it is.
Life becomes not what about ‘You want or expect,’ but more like ‘You are happy with everything.’
But the Mind is a judging machine. It is our first response and our survival mechanism. We became so used to it that we label things all the time.
We label things as ‘Good,’ ‘Bad’ or ‘neutral,’ ‘dangerous,’ ‘normal,’ ‘unhealthy.’ We can label anything:
- The list goes on
It is nothing wrong with doing it. It is perfect to learn about how things relate to us.
The real problem is always to judge and to become attached to it.
We get an attitude on things, and we don’t let ourselves even experience it freely.
And if we even judge things as ‘Good,’ then we will always find something to judge as better. It is a never-ending chase.
Instead of merely feeling and living life, we operate from the Ego mind.
This takes something away from the spirit. It blocks our first, natural response.
To judge is to block our true desires, intuition, and pure Love.
Non-judgment is the next level of being when we simply experience life.
How do you know what judgment is?
I realized that the thin line between judgment and non-judgment is the reaction to it.
For a long time, I was trying to figure out what judgment is. Sometimes I still do.
These questions often occurred:
- If I am talking about another person and say, I would never do that?
- If I see the qualities in other people that I do not want in me?
- How about giving a person advice on his mistake?
Are these observations judgment?
What about self-judgment? Is it okay?
Now I understand it differently.
It is not about our thoughts. The thoughts are natural and okay.
It is our behaviours that matter.
When the thought occurs, I observe it and move on – nothing wrong with it.
But if I get attached to it, and even worse, get the other person involved, it becomes trouble.
Let’s make an example:
Let’s say I see a drunk person in the morning.
For many of us, the first thought would be this.
How can he be like this in the morning? He has no good life. I would never do that.
But what if we change it to this.
He must have had a hard life.
I don’t know his story.
Maybe he went through a tough childhood. Perhaps he doesn’t have the strength to move on.
The opposite of judgment is understanding and acceptance.
The non-judgment of ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’
The good and the bad are the easiest for us to judge.
The reason is – it is already decided for us.
We believe we know what is “Good or Bad.” But in reality, it is not our experience. It is society’s norm.
These terms changed a lot through the ages.
Burning witches was good 200 hundred years ago. Is it okay now?
I am sure you could think of many more examples.
In the end, there is only a personal opinion about ‘Good and Bad.’
But again, we should not judge other personal opinions.
We never know what other people experienced. If all your life you have been told something, you would start to believe it.
Of course, in conscious people, the natural approach is Love.
We can view Love as the ‘Good.’ It is expansive and nurturing.
But in many cases, Love comes from fear or vice versa.
We go to war because we love our country. We are afraid to lose it.
Can we jusge such person?
The next lines might sound extreme but stay with me.
Even when you look at some of the worst people in history, you cannot judge them:
- Did they do it from Love or fear?
- Was their actions their fault? Or was it trauma caused to them?
- Maybe that person was the creation of thousands of people following him?
- Did a person think he was doing wrong or good for his people?
Now I am not justifying anyone, but I am not judging anyone as well.
I see everything as an opportunity to learn for humanity.
But this should make a decent point why we cannot judge anyone.
Benefits of non-judgment
Pain results from a judgment you have made about a thing. Remove the judgment, and the pain disappears.Neale Donald Walsch
Judgment creates separation. It makes you forget that we are all from one. It is only the stage of the journey that is different.
Non-judgment can help you to achieve the ultimate freedom of the mind.
When you do not judge anymore you are no longer controlled by your ego-mind. Many benefits will follow. Non-judgment will:
- Open you up to more beauty
- Open you to more experiences and new things
- Cultivate a peaceful mind
- Help you see clearly
- Help you live your personal experience
- Connect with people
- Build relationships and trust
- Feel more Love and compassion
Also, judging Mind can be very demanding.
You are not happy with what you have, and you stop seeing happiness in life.
Endless self-judgment = lower self-esteem
Below are tools that can help you practice non-judgment.
1. Become aware of when you judge
The first thing you need is to understand what is ‘judgment’ to you.
Then, make a conscious decision to become aware of it.
Ask your self these questions:
- What do I judge the most?
- How often do I judge?
- When do I judge?
- How my day changes when I judge a lot?
Soon you will start to notice all the situations when you judge.
Either it is another person, thing, circumstance, or yourself.
As I mentioned before, it is our instinct to judge.
But only if you get attached to it, you become the victim.
When you notice, you have the chance to respond to it differently.
When you catch yourself judging, simply learn, release and move on.
The more you will do it, the more natural it will become.
Eventually, the non-judgment will become so natural that you will not even have to become aware of it.
2. See things from a different perspective
No matter what it is, there are two sides to it.
You will always have a first impression.
It can be good or bad.
Non-judgment can help us accept all the truths, from differnt perspectives.
When you spend just a few seconds to think, it can change everything.
This is a perfect growth mindset because you are always learning.
Here are some examples:
This sweater is ugly
It’s not perfect
I’m bad at this
This person is angry
I feel wrong around him
Now I know this doesn’t work
Taste in fashion is subjective
What can I do to make it better
How can I become better?
Why this person is angry
I do not need to spend time with him only because of me
Non-judgment is the general practice of mindfulness.
You cannot practice one without the other.
Mindfulness is a broad term. There are many practices in it. And the more we exercise mindfulness, the easier it becomes.
In the sense of non-judgment, you can practice mindfulness as stepping back.
So when you catch yourself judging, inhale deeply and allow yourself to experience it.
Then try to understand where the judgment came from and let it go.
When you embrace the judge in you, you slowly take away its power.
Soon you will notice it before you do it, so you can step back from judging.
Mindfulness leads us to live in the present moment
The judgment does not have power in the present.
When we live in the present moment, it becomes very hard to judge.
This exact moment is how it is. There is nothing to judge, nothing to change about it, nothing to expect.
4. Positive thinking
Positive thinking will significantly improve your life.
Also, it will help you to practice non-judgment.
Because when you think positive, you will see everything as joy and happiness.
Either it is people, situations, circumstances, you will feel more connected to it all.
You will see that either thing doesn’t have everything you expect, there are still many things you can see as good.
Even in a very bad situation, when it is so easy to judge, you can see so much good. It is similar to seeing everything from a different perspective.
But with positive thinking, it becomes your habit, and you start to attract similar vibrations. Soon you will see good things in everything, leaving no place for judgment.
Here are some easiest was to think positively:
- When you feel bad, try to find at least a little good
- Focus on the positive things, no matter how small they are
- Focus on how far you have come, not how much you have to go
- Do something nice to others
- Surround yourself with positivity
5. UNDERSTANDING And Acceptance and Connection
Everyone is on their part of the journey.
I repeat this helpful mantra whenever my ego kicks in or I find myself judging.
It was beneficial in my journey to understand people.
We all came from one.
But at this point in space and time, we are living very different experiences.
Therefore, every one of us is different. And everyone is doing their best.
You have to understand that we all went through different experiences. We all have our struggles and our strengths.
Once you understand it, you begin to accept people the way they are.
You understand and accept, and then you connect.
You start seeking similarities in differences. And you realize that judging others is doing it to yourself.
You can apply this to things and situations as well.
Remember that the world is a diverse place and accept the beauty of it.
Non-judgment is our natural response, our survival mechanism.
It is nothing wrong to do it because it helps us learn what is good for us.
But the real problem arises if we get attached to it. Then it starts to bring negative emotion.
But when we do not judge at all, we start living from the next level of being.
Rather than following the mind, we trust our experience and go with the soul, with the flow.
We accept everything and everyone, and our mind becomes truly free.
Here are some effective ways to practise non-judgment:
- BECOME AWARE OF WHEN YOU JUDGE
- SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
- PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
- POSITIVE THINKING
- ACCEPTANCE AND UNDERSTANDING AND CONNECTION
Please let me know:
Do you find yourself or other judging a lot?