This time I go a little different than usual and share the sotry of my life.
Many people suggested me to write this.
Because for some,it might bring some relation, inspiration, courage or questions to ask oneself.
For others it might be a simple interesting read or motivation to write own life story.
For me, it is opening myself to you.
My experience of life makes me be who I am at precisely this moment.
I know this is just a tiny part, taken from who I am as a soul.
But it shows my journey in this lifetime.
The challenges that I faced in my life, all obstacles I overcame, the peaks I climbed.
Also, I share some of my most profound and interesting mystical experiences to make this a little more interesting.
I will open deep parts of myself.
So please stay awhile and meet me.
I also encourage everyone to start a journal. Write it when it feels right time. My journal has years of valuable events of my life, from dark hours to happiest experiences.
No better place to start
For some reason, it is hard to remember the details from my childhood.
Good that my family likes to capture everything on camera.
The funny videos show that I was utterly emersed in my own experience, living my own life, constantly exploring the world, always adventurous.
I did not need to blend in because I knew who I was and what I had to do.
That kid looked very spiritual, open and aware.
I had no ego, no judgement, just Love and a deep sense of learning and exploring.
Even my best friend remembers the first time meeting me.
I was walking by my own with a chain, and he came to complain about something.
I calmly listened to him, gave advice and calmed him down and walked my way.
Those were days of freedom.
All the time spent outside exploring.
And then, the school came.
12 years of school
Now, as I look back, I wish I did not go to school at all.
I probably do not mean that. Or do I?
I don’t, the school made me who I am today, and I am very grateful for it.
But as for many people, school left a massive imprint on me and a lot of traumas.
Not in an awful way. I was quite fortunate with it.
But in the way of who I was in my essence and who I had to become.
The school didn’t let me be unique, different or myself in any way.
I do not judge the school system.
But I felt put into a small frame.
I could not explore my true spiritual nature because no one would understand me.
And I did not have any intention to be with the ‘cool kids.’
So there I was, stuck somewhere in the middle.
I forgot everything I was as that spiritual child.
It wasn’t that bad
It was not so dramatic as I may sound. I did go to decent school where people were more conscious.
It is just typical life in schools.
- Competition instead of collaboration
- Following facts instead of inquiring
- Following the rules instead of creativity
- Staying in the boundaries instead of crossing them
I did learn a lot!
And luckily, I was surrounded by incredible people.
My classmates and my friends are such extraordinary people.
It was like an incubator of growth for us all.
I could not be more grateful.
And through school, I always knew somehow who I meant to be.
I always knew I am here for something great.
But I buried it deep inside me.
After school, I wanted to escape my country. As I always do for some reason. Even Lithuania is quite a magical country.
I went to study in England. It did not last long, so I started working and saving up money for the trip that changed everything – a trip to Nepal.
My Trip to Nepal
Nineteen years old, with minimal travelling experience, all alone, I landed in Katmandu.
You could imagine how my parents felt.
It was a different world.
I loved it.
Soon I went to my first stop to volunteer in a children’s centre.
I spend one beautiful month there, seeing nature, enjoying food, meeting people, contributing to the children’s house.
What a time!
But it was soon time to move on.
I went to Lumbini, Buddha’s birthplace.
It was the seeds of getting back my spirituality.
I spend some weeks living in a Korean Buddhist monastery – a Shanty place.
I did not precisely understand what is happening, but it all felt appealing.
All the spiritual people around me, meditating, doing yoga and the monks themsleves.
I wrote in my journal this extraordinary memory.
In English, it would go something like this.
The most exciting memory in my journal
After one week here, I feel rather strange. People here encourage me to change, do yoga, meditate. But somehow, I do not give myself to it. I think that it would appeal to me fast, and I would start to change. But somehow, I do not want to change, even to the good side. Because I am afraid not to be who I am now. I just want to come back to Lithuania, study there, and live a normal life, party, meet girls.
Yes, every time I read this, I smile.
The rest trip in Nepal was great as well.
I lived in the mountains, saw mount Everest, had so many different experiences and meet incredible people.
I was still so young then.
It is a trip to remember, and all the time, I desire to come back.
Now the trip would be completely different.
And I will come back pretty soon.
Some of my crazy dreams
Dreaming is a part of speaking with my subconsciousness and beyond.
I learned lucid dreaming, although it is not my constant practice.
Through the years, I had many crazy, hard to imagine dreams.
Speaking with dead relatives and asking them what is in the beyond, meeting spirit guides and asking translators to show me meditation techniques, going to the deep subconscious, even out of this planet, where I meet the stranges creatures. Sometimes going too deep… Yes, I have seen some crazy things in my dreams, but one dream is above all.
It was fool moon, and I had a DMT dream. Somehow my brain produced this chemical in my sleep.
I was God. I created all the universe, planet after planet, a man and a woman. It is hard to say anything more, but you get the picture. It is a dream to remember for sure.
Studying in Lithuania
So, as I wrote in my journal, I started studying in Lithuania.
Believe it or not – Banking.
I have not much to tell about studies themselves. But some important things happened in that period.
One of them is I met my first girlfriend.
She is a very remarkable person.
I loved her dearly.
She took me from nowhere and made me something.
She faced my deep traumas and loved me unconditionaly.
Together we traveled and worked in Greece and Scotland for periods of time
We spend four beautiful years together.
But we went separate ways—me to spirituality, she to a successful career.
I thank you so much, Gabriele, for everything, and I am sorry for what I did wrong.
She is doing very well, and I have nothing but respect and gratitude for her.
Some more things I fell in Love with
What I also found in my study years was Raving!
Those times it was not so popular still.
I had so many incredible moments, met so many people, and danced my ass off in underground parties and festivals.
I fell in Love with electronic music.
It was my way to rebel and forget the world.
I still love it, but for different reasons now.
Nothing beats a good dance party or, even better, a festival.
Also, I was ‘lucky’ to find a job in a bank while I was studying.
My years working in a Bank
I worked in two banks for more than two years.
I do not even know what to say about this one. People now are always like: You? In a bank?
It definitely gave me some good experience too.
But it was not me in any way.
All the time, I felt so tired, so exhausted, so not at my place.
Crazy when I think about it.
The last year was like a dream to me. I was only existing.
My soul was shouting – GET OUT OF HERE.
I made some attempts, but not successful ones.
Because from the outside, it was a fantastic job.
But only a few could feel me.
And then the universe found another way to get me out.
In one magical festival, I met one of my soulmates.
I had my first awakening!
It was a strange experience. My body was like what is happening, but my soul was like – everything is bliss.
The girl came to me just to teach me a lesson.
I took the chance and momentum and got deeply into spirituality.
I started meditating every day, reading a lot about spirituality, found yoga.
Spirituality started to become my life, slowly but surely.
It was me coming back to my journey.
My second relationship
I was still working in a bank for a while
And I met a beautiful and kind girl.
Precisely what I was looking for at that time.
We had many beautiful moments.
But then everything changed, and we just hurt each other.
I would say we were not supposed to be together, but it was necessary for our growth.
I probably hurt her more than she did me because i was not read for what was happening.
And I lost all my emotions, no sadness, no happiness.
So I ran away from everything to Denmark.
To search for freedom and study computer science. (I wanted to become a digital nomad)
We were still together while I was in Denmark, but finally, we broke up.
It was tough for me. But I decided to learn everything from that relationship and only work on myself.
It was such an important time, and advice I would share with everyone. This time really shaped who I am now today. If I did not find my strenght I would not be who I am now.
I admitted all of my mistakes. I saw what hurt me.
So much work I put in to figure out everything and say the best goodbye I could.
In the end, I became a different man, only for the better.
And one day, after a simple yoga and a nap, I woke up and felt so much joy.
Like all the sadness in me gave space for happiness.
It was incredible.
I wish nothing but good for this girl. I know she is happy now.
Spontaneous kundalini awakening
It was my first transit from – yes, I know spirituality, but do I really believe in mystical experiences? To Oh wow, there is no doubt.
So that evening, I sat down to meditate as usual, but I could not go far.
I decided to try something different and work with my body energy.
I focused on my arms, sitting in my lap, and they started to get hot.
Somehow I thought I would move that energy to my root chakra.
With each breath in, I started raising the energy through my chakras and I felt heat building up in each of them.
It was actual physical heat, not my mind games.
And then boom, I raised it to crown chakra, and it opened up.
Like in all of the images I have seen before.
And then with each breath in and out, it felt like thousand volts of electricity, someone taking my spine with a fist, or a snake going up my spine and squeezing it.
Every time it reached the top of the head, it opened even more and started again from the bottom.
It was euphoric. I almost started to feel orgasmic.
But I got too excited, and it stopped.
I could walk on walls from the amount of energy I received.
It changed my perspective a lot.
Living my darkest hours in Denmark
Denmark was the saddest and the most challenging time of my life.
I studied computer science there and worked various jobs.
Living like this was very hard for me.
It was the Dark night of the soul for me.
It was the lowest point of my life.
Nothing made sense.
I was lonely, sad, depressed.
The weather in winter was shit.
No one could understand me.
I felt there was no way out.
But I had something to do.
I was consistently working on myself.
How else could I turn loneliness into solitude?
How else could I go through this time?
Self-development became my main focus.
Meditation was my safe haven. Yoga was me moving forward.
I read books, watched spiritual documentaries.
I did everything that felt like expansion.
But most importantly.
I reflected on who I am and where I am going.
I reflected on all of my life.
That made me see who I am.
I learned self-love.
I learned loving others.
The summer in Denmark was pretty incredible for me.
I felt free for the first time in my life.
But something even more incredible was waiting for me.
Before going to Canada, I spend the summer in Lithuania.
It was the summer of my second awakening.
I became who I always wanted to be and felt amazing
I am walking my path and gathering everything I need to succeed.
The universe takes me to the best places, experiences, and people.
I am flowing with it.
And the moment I entered Canada, it showed.
I had no plan. Everything just worked out.
By advice, I went to volunteer on a farm in Vancouver Island.
From there, I went to work at Mount Washington skiing resort.
Spend a winter to remember. I lived on the mountain with incredible people.
In the new year, I met my woman there.
Sima, I Love you.
I could write a whole blog post about her and our life.
But for now, I will only say that I never felt so much growth and unconditional Love with anyone.
Experience on the mountain
Astonished by nature, I felt drawn to meditate.
I went deeper than I could imagine.
As soon as I sat down, I felt instantly rooted.
It seemed that my spine even fixed itself to a perfectly straight line for meditation.
My breath became as deep as ever.
My mind became clear. I felt connected to the spirit.
Soon such vivid colours, beyond words, started playing inside my body.
I knew nothing would stop me from meditating.
A mighty wind was blowing, but it couldn’t move me because I became part of the mountain.
Birds were chirping; I understood their language.
The sun was shining; I was the light.
I became a part of everything.
And my girlfriend observed everything from the side, not seeing me as a man but a part of everything.
Start of the corona maddness
Corona gave us the final decision to go tree planting and live three months in nature.
It was the most challenging but most rewarding experience of our lives.
It was the turning point for me to create my freedom.
And I did.
After the tree planting, we stayed on an organic farm in British Columbia.
Healthy food and lifestyle recovered our bodies.
And we learned so much.
Excellent people there accepted us to their home and shared some incredible ideas.
We decided this is the life we desire.
Even before, I knew it was my life dream, but the farm was the final approval.
Those people were a part of nature, and so happy with it showed us the importance of our dream.
My Life Goal
The dream started with my best friend and me probably four years ago.
To establish a small commune and a retreat-school.
Somewhere where a small group of people can live off-grid but also give their share to society.
It will have a retreat in it, where artists, spiritual teachers, business people, any leaders of their trade would come to teach.
And people would come to learn from all over the world.
It will be a constant flow of teachers, students and volunteers.
At the same time, an alternative school for local children.
It will be a place where we will live all year from only our land – a place of Love, freedom, consciousness, and constantly raising vibration.
It is a magical place.
And it is already there, right in front of us.
Leaving Canada and the USA
After the farm, we stayed for some more months travelling in Canada.
What a beautiful country! It was hard for me to say goodbye, especially leaving for the USA, which did not attract me at that time.
But my partner’s sister was pregnant, and she was planning to help her around in the moment of need.
So, of course, we went.
Through that time, we were already working hard on our online business.
It was a start, but we were moving forward.
I have to say that period was autumn for me.
I felt rather interesting.
But at the same time, incredible things were happening in my spiritual life.
I started to feel such a deep connection to God, like never before.
And I figured out what I am here to do as a human.
Night of the northern lights
In tree planting, after finishing our first contract, nature rewarded us all with a fantastic gift – northern lights.
For Sima and me, the gift was even bigger.
After some time of partying, we went back to our tent and held each other tight.
And then, we went into a deep trance state and started having Astral sex.
We could not believe it either at first, woke up few times, like what is happening?
But then went back to trance state again, and kept loving each other.
All night our souls were making divine Love, and our bodies did not even move.
I was entirely my divine masculine, she the feminine. We read each other minds and desires.
The were unexplainable movements and even sounds, many soul orgasms.
Really, beyond the words to explain it.
But most importantly, at one point, we both saw the most beautiful image – our future daughter.
Our daughter chose us and shoved us the life we will live, three of us.
We both saw the same girl, and we both changed our minds instantly about having children.
As I learned later, it is meant to be and she is already waiting.
My grand awakening
Growth is a continuous process.
But I would call the past six months of my life nothing more but my most significant shift yet.
I found such profound trust and faith in God.
Various opportunities to improve myself were sent to me by the universe.
- I started psychic and intuition training.
- I became a Reiki master.
- Hiring my coach was an incredible idea.
- I invested a lot in my business.
- I became a healer.
- Various improvement courses: NLP, shamanic journey, breathwork are such vital tools for me.
- I started deep spiritual disciplines, yoga meditation, gratitude, shamanic drumming, for at least hours each day.
The growth, primarily spiritual, was rapid like never before.
MIND BODY SPIRIT!
I am the leader and healer I came here to be.
I know there is still more to learn.
But I am so eager.
It just comes increasing like a snowball.
There are a lot of realizations and experiences one after another, deeply blissful and divine.
Just a few weeks ago, I met a deep karmic bond. Such an intense and insane, out of this life experience.
I saw millions of years of existence in front of my eyes.
It opened even more gifts in me.
Now I know my soul’s path.
I am ready like never before.
My spiritual discipline now
My spiritual discipline now is deeper like never before.
Through yoga and mediation, I reach such a profound deep state sometimes mystical experience.
In yoga, I build so much energy that sometimes my eyes are even rolling.
In meditation, I become nothing or meet ascended masters who show me the most beautiful truths and guidance.
This is how I communicate to God.
This is my life and I am most grateful for it.
I want to serve you
All my life is leading to serve people.
Be an example, inspiration, being a leader.
Heal people through various modalities: energy, shamanic drum, coaching, guided meditation, blogging, sharing my knowledge.
All this adds up to a holistic healing approach.
I am putting my heart to it. I am putting myself to it.
And I will never stop.
Never stop growing for you.
Never stop growing for myself.
I will never stop reaching God and being a servant of him.
I will never stop caring for this planet and everyone and everything on it.
So here I am.
Lauynas – although my name doesn’t describe me.
I am a heart warrior.
I am Love.
It is so nice to trully meet you.